Dead Boyfriend's Brother
by Prisoner of Readers
Summary: How does this feeling feel like, you ask? I don't understand what I'm feeling, and I don't have the slightest clue of what it is I'm feeling... No, I actually do; but how would I be able to bear saying, "I'm pushed to the brink of tears, when I see him and her together," to my deceased boyfriend's brother? Wouldn't that be cruel to all three of us?
1. Chapter 1

**I do not own anything. This story will probably be short. I know it's been long since I promised to write this story, but as the lame excuse goes "better late than never". Okay, first, I know I shouldn't just drop the bomb and add a bunch of drama in the first chapter, but because of my selfish desire for a shorter story, this will be it.**

CAW... CAW! CAW... CAW!

My flaring amber eyes fluttered open at the crow's screeches. Throughout my entire body, the dusk's chilly wind permeated each and every nerve, depriving me of any warmth I could have possibly gained from my thin jacket. My knees scraped against the cement under me. My fingertips, numb with the cold, stroked the tombstone in front of me. Underneath my touch, I could feel the engravings of his name. I parted my lips for a sound to come out, but my dry throat prevented it from escaping. After my dry tongue ran itself over my chapped lips, my lungs heaved in a long deep breath.

"Y-Yoru, I can't lie to myself anymore," My hoarse voice came out shaky and uncertain. "I love I-Ikuto. I can only repress it from him; but I-I can't keep lying to myself."

Whenever my mind considered the thought of my loving, or even liking, Ikuto, it would flee back to the simple moments—the moments when it was just me and my two favorite people in the entire world. In our youth, we would lay in the green, prickly grass under the warming rays of the sun. On my first day to preschool, the two boys would grab hold of my hand and reassure me. When I had my first heartbreak, they cared for me and spent the entire day with me; and I was sure that they punched him into the following week…

Just a few days ago, death snatched my boyfriend from me… Well, in truth, he would have been my ex-boyfriend, if he had lived and not died in that motorcycle accident. My boyfriend with dark purple tresses was the ideal boyfriend of whom every girl dreamed. I was that ungrateful, traitorous girlfriend who fell in love with his brother. To be even more honest, I never liked him the way he did for me. I cherished the relationship between us and wanted to keep the peace between us… One of the biggest regrets I had for our relationship was ever starting it.

"I'm sorry, Yoru. You never got the life you deserved. You never even got the girl you deserved." I cried louder and steadier, leaning my forehead on the engraving.

"You're wrong. You were all he ever talked about… _all he ever wanted_." The deep, enigmatic voice rang through the cemetery behind me. Of course, Ikuto would be here in my darkest moments. My pink hair was probably in a mess, and this black dress, hugging every curve I didn't have, definitely told him I'd slept here all night long after the funeral. I didn't bother turn around, because I knew I wouldn't be able to hold myself back from throwing myself in his arms.

"I want to be alone, Ik…" I trailed off without finishing his name. His name falling from my traitorous lips would be pure cruelty in front of Yoru's grave. To strengthen my resolution of keeping my eyes away from Ikuto, I pressed my fingers on the freshly sharpened engraving that read _'Tsukiyomi Yoru'_.

"You shouldn't be alone. You'll break down… I know how much you loved Yoru, but you should learn to let go." He spoke with a slightly wavering pace. Here he came to comfort me, and he was still coping with Yoru's de… departure. That's just like Ikuto… I took a sudden deep take of breath, feeling guilt—guilty that I just fawned over him when I was in front of Yoru.

"You don't know a thing." With the harshest voice I could manage, I spat the words out, trying to emphasize the distance between us. Trying to get him away from me before I fell apart.

"Amu—" The man of whom I always dreamed spoke my name, which made the situation all the more difficult.

"Hinamori. I told you, 'It's Hinamori, now.'" I selfishly demanded. Ikuto never did anything but be the person he was.

"_Amu_," He spoke with a fiercer yet more caring tone, obviously making a point. "We were friends long before Yoru and you went out. What makes the us before different from the us now?" His question was deeper than what he was expecting, and I wasn't ready to pour my heart out. Despite knowing that, I couldn't quell the words that were pouring out of me.

"There's a big difference from the past and the present. We've both changed… No, it's not that we've both changed. It's—"

"Iku-koi, I decided to surprise you and visit your brother with you." I heard a new, feminine voice speak. I snapped my head and turned my body to their direction. A cute girl about Ikuto's age was latched onto his arm. Her hair with beautiful locks of green lay on his shoulder, and her sky-bright eyes with an innocent and curious intent peeked over at me. My eyes migrated from her to him, seeing him dressed in casual attire. I should've remembered the girlfriend. The sight of her with him resuscitated me back to reality. I was no longer drowning in my sorrows and despairs. I knew what I had to do—smile and act normal. I walk up to the couple with probably the most superficial smile I had worn in all my life, and stopped right in front of the two.

"Hello, I'm Hinamori Amu, ex-girlfriend of the deceased." I introduced myself, keeping my hands to myself. "If we met in any other circumstances, it would have probably been nice seeing you. Well, I'll be on my way." I quickly say before she can say anything in reply. I walk past Ikuto but not before I tell him, "Ikuto, I know you don't know much about women; and so I'll tell you this. Next time, don't bring your girlfriend when you're trying to comfort me." As I walk away, I don't even turn to look at his puzzled face that viewed me as his brother's girlfriend. I didn't want to see how good they looked together, and for the most part, I didn't want to see how well they connected.

Since the forest leading to the park was just down the hill from the cemetery, I decided to take a walk through the park to get my rushing heart low. The whole trek down the hill killed my ankles that already had to deal with my heels. I decided to give my sore feet a rest from the oppression and slipped my heels off. Right at the first step into the forest, I could feel the rocks and twigs littered on the patches of grass and dirt, yet despite the pain, I endured it. The pain I felt there was just the right distraction for me. I danced and skipped around the grove of trees, twirling in the parade of falling leaves.

The pain of coping with Yoru's departure, watching Ikuto with another, and seeing my horrible nature just blended into a strange form of hysteria. In that hysteria, I laughed at how ridiculous it all was. The breeze joined into my dance and whirled around me in sympathy. Never looking where I skipped or twirled, I tripped over one of the roots of a tree and fell face first into the pile of leaves. I turned to let the sunshine, peeking from the leaves and branches, greet and bathe me.

"You always did like frolicking all over this forest during the fall." This voice with his usual casual manner commented. I didn't need to even think, when my body sat up and my darted to the source. I stared at the flicker of shimmer that resembled Yoru. The azure eyed boy sat next to me in a leisure manner. He just looked at me with those calm, placid eyes and wore a smile. Each time the wind blew at him, it seemed to break him apart; and when the wind settled, it showed his image clear as day.

"This was the place I would have brought you when you were going to break up with me." His statement left me speechless… well, more than his presence already had.

"Y-Yoru? Why?" My apparent surprise brought bitter sweetness to his face. His hand scratched the back of his head… a clear sign that he was nervous. His eyes left mine momentarily to catch his thoughts… Hesitance.

"You could think about it as if I'm here to teach you to let go." He grinned his Cheshire grin.

**Thanks for reading~!**


	2. Chapter 2

**I don't own anything.**

**A Month Prior**

I pressed my back onto the prickling patch of grass a fair distance from the train tracks on the bridge. In front of me lay another lane of grass, separated from me by a running stream. My fingers and toes clasped a loose hold of the grass, only to let the grass slip through them.

I had spent the entire day, playing truant from school. My head was clouded entirely by the thoughts of the two boys with whom I shared my entire life. Their comforting whispers when darkness overtook me, their low chuckles that seemed to hide secrets, his fingers entwined with mine, the curl of the ends of his hair, the hot sensation that lingered everywhere he touched… My mind traveled even further down that dark path from his blue silk locks that urged your hand to sink in it, to his provocative eyes that invited devious thoughts, down his slender yet muscular frame that gravitated your body to his, and finally to his soft lips that—no, what am I saying?

In the few seconds that it took for me to finally realize that evident possibility, someone made their way behind me. I could smell the faint fragrance of chocolate, and my body instinctively shot up.

"Amu, what is your butt doing here, but not in school?" Yoru's voice hollowed my anticipation, overwhelming me with a sense of disappointment.

"Whatever my butt does shouldn't be any of your concern. Besides, I could be asking you the same thing." I snapped at him.

"Woah, tiger, I'm sorry if I interrupted your alone time. If you were to ask, I just came back from visiting Ikuto." He answered with his hands held high. _That would explain the chocolate scent._

"How is your brother doing? I hear he's picked up a… _girl_." I infused as much venom I could into that one word.

"Are you jealous?" Yoru shot back, hurt. His fingers rested on my clasped hands. I noticed how slender and how similar it was to his brothers. His fingers tangled themselves up with mine. Though the feeling wasn't right, it felt a bit satisfying as I looked at how his fingers matched mine. Could Yoru be the one who I've liked?

I must have been staring at our fingers for a long time, because Yoru let go of my hand and turned away in shame or embarrassment. Under the awkward silence, we stood there in our school uniforms.

"I should get going to school. I've already missed two classes." I said.

"Wait, Amu," There was a serious gravity that weighed on us, and the panic alarm in my head shrieked.

"I've really got to get going. Despite his carefree appearance, Nikaidou-sensei is rather brutal." I made another attempt at escape, but it seemed Yoru really couldn't hold back.

"Amu, I really want to tell you this. I've been waiting for this ever since… well, ever. I knew since I saw that time in pre-school. I always thought Ikuto was more your type, after all those boyfriends who mirrored him—"

"Wait, what? All my ex-boyfriends were nothing like Ikuto, were they?" A sudden shock ran through me. It must've been from Yoru. I must have liked him. I would never like Ikuto; he had a girlfriend who was prettier and pretty much better than me altogether.

"Amu, that isn't the point." With an exasperated sigh, Yoru dragged me back to the conversation. "What I've been aching to say was I love—"

"I think I really have to get to class now. I've been failing French, or was it Spanish?" The panic alarms were getting increasingly louder.

"Amu!" Yoru yelled and gripped my shaking hands. "Why won't you just let me say what I have to say?"

"Yoru," Instantly, his name made his posture straighten and brought a grin to his face. "Remember the three of us have always been friends. Remember that the relationship among us all should be cherished. I can't think of a life without either of you, and I don't want to see that happen."

The broad grin fell, the straight posture fell, and the rest of him seemed to fall as well. I never wanted to break him into pieces. I never wanted to say it all. Wait, what was so wrong about this? What was so wrong? I obviously didn't like Ikuto, because he would never like me. No, it was wrong because it would break our relationship.

"You don't have to lose either one of us. I would just be more special to you than he is. I would be your boyfriend, and he would be your friend." His eyes glistened with hope. Now that his words were out there, no possible way to escape was there. Accepting it was all that was left. I liked him, didn't I? What was wrong?

"Please, Y-Yoru." A raspy unfamiliar voice was wringed out from my throat. Tears burned at the back of my eyes. I fought hard, but the tears let loose. Yoru let go of my hands, whispered an apology, and walked back. At normal cases, he would have soothed me with his jokes; but I don't think either of us was in any stable state of mind.

**I'm really sorry for my absence. My keyboard broke because I spilled soda on it. Thanks for the wait. I have two more weeks of school left, and I will be updating more often. Thanks for the read. **


	3. Chapter 3

**I do not own anything.**

"Don't overcomplicate the translation in your mind, Amu." With an overwhelming amount of patience, Ikuto consoled me with my insufferable inability to understand this language. He and I were laying side-by-side on the floor of my room. His chocolate fragrance wafted the air around us. I could feel his scent flow deeper into my pores.

"_Qui est le plus special—moi ou mon frère_? Special obviously means special, plus probably means more, and that's all I know. Ikuto," I breathed his name in a whimpering whine. "I don't understand a single mark on this paper."

"This is why I'm tutoring you. Just search in your heart for the answer. You'll find it." Ikuto's low chuckle caressed my earlobe, sending sparks shuddering through my body. My ravenous eyes went back to studying the way his jaw set when he was contemplating, the way his shoulder blades met when he stretched his back and arms, the way his eyes darkened when he met mine—oh, right, we were talking. What am I thinking, especially since he has a girlfriend who he'd ditch any day for me? He'd probably reminded me of his brother.

"Why would my heart be relevant to French? It's not like I ever had the chance to ever go to France last summer—oh, wait, I have; but my oldest best friend in the world chose his smoking hot girlfriend over his own friend." I hissed in reproach. I didn't know what was wrong with me, but I couldn't wrap my head around Ikuto having a girlfriend.

"First, French is one of the five most widely spoken Romance languages." He smirked at me, trying to ease the tension.

"Well, you'd know, wouldn't you? Swaying girls with your French _Romantic_ words and all, right? Maybe even French kissing? I hear that really sways them." Amu couldn't bite back the respite creeping from her forced light joke.

"_Amu_." His cold, icy stare pierced through the receding warmth within her. "Let's end this, since you don't seem to be taking this tutoring seriously." He stood from his spot, leaving only the bittersweet fragrance he left.

Before he could open the door, the door was opened by another occupant on the other side of the door. The other occupant showed a thinly veiled disappointment in Ikuto's presence.

"What are you doing here?" At his voice, my body tensed and struggled to sit up, finding an awkward sitting position and settling for an Indian sit.

"Don't worry, lil' bro, I was only tutoring her. I was just leaving. Clearly her mind isn't on the right track." Ikuto gestured for Yoru to move aside. Yoru stayed there, though.

"Great, because I was just about to talk to Amu about her answer—" My rigid body leaped past Ikuto and covered Yoru's mouth with both my hands. I could feel his lips curl into that Tsukiyomi smirk. I glanced at Ikuto, hoping he hadn't heard; but I could see the thought register through his eyes. A flash of odd hurt fell into the forced smile he always tried to fool me with. That smile tore me to pieces.

"That's alright." Reading the concern on my face, Ikuto reassured me, patting my shoulder. I could feel the lingering heat outline the hand onto my shoulder. "I support any decision you make, Amu." With that, he left me to fight my own battle. My hands fell limp to my side.

"See, Amu, our relationship won't harm the relationship between us all. Ikuto supports us, I love you, and from what I saw yesterday, you like me back. You were staring at our fingers, weren't you? We could hold hands like that every moment we wanted." Yoru slipped his fingers through mine just like yesterday. I noticed how sweaty his hands were. His brother and he shared a confidence that most Tsukiyomis inherited.

"Let's just try for a date tonight, and if it doesn't work out, we'll go back to friends." He quickly added.

"…Okay." All there was to accept it, right? Well, here she was accepting it. She would have felt terribly wrong, but the stupid grin marking his face brought happiness to her.

**I know that it's short. I'm not the type of person for the long run, just for that dash. It'll be like this a lot more. I feel shorter but more frequent are better. Thanks for reading.**


	4. Chapter 4

**I do not own anything. Last week of school for me.**

"_Out of all movies, why did it have to be this one—the cheesiest, most predictably romantic comedy every produced?"_ I thought to myself as the movie rolled on. Before I entered the cinema, I never thought there could be anything more cliché than Cinderella; but I had to swallow my words as I was trying to stifle my laughs. I could tell Yoru was having the same problem.

I leaned into Yoru's shoulder to whisper into his ear.

"Yoru, I know you've had your fair share of girlfriends—" My statement must have quelled his laughter, because his body went entirely rigid. I probably shouldn't bring up exes on the first date.

"What do you mean?" His tone hardened.

"I-I don't mean any offense to your date planning. Don't you think this movie is maybe too—"

"Cliché? Cheesy? A downright sin to all novelty?" His quick recovery stunned me only for a moment.

I turned my gaze from the movie into his golden eyes. His eyes, unlike Ikuto's, bounced back radiant colors that echoed the happiness and laughter of a child. Those eyes knew no pain, the kind of pain and sorrow Ikuto had experienced. The one of the only features shared between the two brothers was that midnight blue color.

I must have been staring too long at his features, because a smile was tugging at the corner of his lip.

"So you _do_ know how bad this movie is? Is it just courtesy to bring me here on our first date; or am I not seeing the joke?" I gave him a brief look of disbelief. His eyes lit up to the color of the shining sunrise, at the word _date_.

"Amu, I know how you wouldn't want to watch a horror, or an awkward chick flick, or a suspenseful mystery, nor that movie about that book." Yoru briefed me on what I already knew. He must have been able to read that his answer was not relevant.

"So what you brought me to was the worst chick flick, instead of the awkward one?" I glared at him, ready to turn back to enduring through the movie.

"Definitely the worst chick flick, but the best comedy. C'mon, we could have running gags on this for weeks." He grinned his contagious Cheshire grin. Down to the last thought, he was definitely the best friend.

"Sometimes, I don't understand you." I breathed out a laugh, turning to the movie. Out of the corner of my eye, I swore I could see an unpredictable flash of wistful sorrow cross his face.

"_That doesn't stop you from loving my brother_." He whispered. I snapped my head to him, searching for those lingering words; but he just gave me that same grin and laughed at some words the man said to the girl.

**Dead Boyfriend's Brother**

"Ikuto, I don't mean to be a possessive girlfriend. I'm doing this as your friend." Lulu said with confidence that could easily be mistaken for arrogance.

"I thought you were my girlfriend." I softly let out a humorless joke, trying to comfort myself. We sat at a table outside of a café.

"Sometimes, I wonder whether you actually do know that or not." She sighed. "All I'm trying to remind you is that I'm here to make you forget her. It wouldn't be helping anyone, if you were to go interrupt her date."

Looking up from my coffee, I took in the image of my girlfriend. Her locks of a luminescent greenish-yellow framed her delicate frame, but don't be fooled. That delicate frame could hold more emotional strength and confidence that ten grown men. Her blue eyes darkened and attempted to pierce some sense into my hollowed soul.

"Lulu—"

"Don't say my name like that." She whispered into her latte, swallowing a moderately big gulp.

"Like what?" I gave her a light smirk, but all that earned me was a keener glare.

"You say it as if this whole relationship is filled with sympathy and sorrow. You say it as if I'm not your…" She trailed off. Though Lulu was brave, she wasn't a masochist.

"I'm sorry, _Lulu_." I filled as much happiness as I could muster, placing my hand on hers. Her look accomplished a great feat and was able to express grief and satisfaction.

"It's okay. I knew what I was getting when I went into this relationship. Don't worry, Ikuto," She smiled at me, brimming with hope. "I will do my best to make you happy."

"Lulu, you deserve so much more than to settle for this." I tried to persuade her. I meant every word. Lulu surely would be the wife to a prosperous man and the mother to the luckiest children.

We paused, just gazing into each other's eyes. There was no affection there, simply camaraderie.

"Ikuto, I know this is a selfish request of me." She bore a concerned look, bringing a regretful sourness to her face. "One day—soon-, could you tell Amu that you loved her?"

There was another pause between us, longer than the prior. She and I knew what she was asking. Saying, "I _loved _you," meant that I'd have to stop loving her. Lulu, as understanding as she always was, understood by my eyes that the equivalent to that would be asking to always live with a missing piece in my heart.

"Then if you can't do that, tell me that you love me. I don't care how much of a lie it is." She gave me a hollow smile, and I returned that same smile.

"_I love you…_ _Amu_." The words just rolled off my tongue. A heavy burden seemed to come off my shoulders. I would've actually had hope for this relationship between Lulu and me, if I hadn't heard the sharp intake of breath she took. I could have sworn that I said Lulu's name, but I could've sworn a lot of things that happened in my dreams. "I'm sorry. I'm _so_ sorry for hurting you—"

"Ikuto, you said her name as if it was the only word you knew, as if she were the rising sun, as if nothing else mattered, even me. You said every word like you meant it. _Why couldn't you love me?"_ She whispered her words behind her hands.

"Lulu." I tried to put all the love I could into it, but it just broke her. She went off racing into another direction. I didn't do much else. I couldn't race off after her; that would've given her false hope. I couldn't bring myself to interrupt their date, after hurting my girlfriend—or should I start calling her my ex. I just sat there with my head in my hands, trying to rid myself of today's events.

Would I ever get over this phase of life? Is this even a phase?

**Thanks for reading~!**


	5. Chapter 5

**I don't own anything.**

"Yoru, you do know that we don't have to go to a specific place to eat. We've passed McDonalds, In-and-Out, Panera Bread, and Olive Garden. I'm not picky with my food." I said. After our movie, we had been walking up, down, and around the streets of the city.

"No, this is our first date. I have to bring you to _this _café. Suu makes the best chocolate crepes." My purple haired companion pressed, urging me to continue on. I looked up at his bright golden eyes that matched the street lights.

"You and your brother always loved chocolate crepes." I remarked. I could feel the corners of my lips quirk up at the thought.

"Amu—" I could hear his disappointed tone.

"No, you guys would love anything chocolate." I corrected myself, shining my smile up at him. Stopping dead in his tracks, he almost bumped into a man; but I stopped and pulled him into an empty alcove before they could collide. "Yoru, watch out. You almost bumped into—"

"Why are you always talking about Ikuto? Even when you're not saying it, I can see that you're thinking about him. E-Everything in this world reminds you of him." Yoru's voice shook out in a frazzled tone. He seemed exhausted and annoyed. When his fringe fell in front of his golden eyes, I wanted to move them away; but I'm sure that wouldn't help anything.

"What are you talking about? I haven't been—"

"Especially me. Everything I do and say reminds you of him. I'm the one here, not him. What should I do to get your attention?" He sighed.

"Ikuto's like my older brother." I whispered to him, but I wasn't even entirely sure that was true. A pang of pain spiked through my chest at the mere thought of it.

"You don't even know you love him, do you?" His left golden eye peeked from his bangs to search my expression.

"Yoru, I couldn't love Ikuto. He has a girlfriend." I stared at him, trying to search for answers as well.

"Geez, Amu, I don't care about Ikuto's relationship status. Do you or do you not love—or at least like—Ikuto?" He asked me, looking at me with both eyes. He looked at me with so much hope that something inside me deflated.

"If Ikuto didn't have a girlfriend, I would…" I took a moment to think about my impression of him.

Ikuto's brooding blue eyes, his matching blue hair that curled at the ends, his weird habit to buy me things as recompense, his bittersweet chocolate scent that hid under that strong cologne his girlfriend bought him, his all-knowing smirk that enticed the life in me, his sensitivity beneath his cool demeanor, and every single detail filled me with such rapture and pleasantness that my body felt like a sauna. This warm heat flushed across my face and this pull ached from my heart to him. These feelings were associated with love, weren't they?

"I would love—" I stopped myself. Yoru's grin and hope had fallen to that wistful sorrowful look I remembered from the theater. This was the golden boy I would break.

"I would love Ikuto as a brother." Lowering my head in shame, the words rattled down. I could hear his heart and lungs swell as my heart and lungs deflated.

"_Maybe if I tell myself enough, I'll actually believe it." _I thought to myself.

**Dead Boyfriend's Brother**

"Ikuto, what are you doing at my doorstep? You know my dad might come out any second." I whispered to Ikuto. Pretending to forget my father's last attempt on his life, he remained there, leaning on the pillar.

"Amu, I need to tell you something." His words whelmed me with hope—the same hope in Yoru. Pulling his weight off the pillar, he took a step closer.

"Are you dying?" I gave a sad excuse of a joke, trying to ease my own nervous heart rate.

"Yes." His response stunned me. "If I don't get these words out, I think I might die from the pressure."

"Ikuto, there's no need to be melodramatic. My ears are yours." _As well as my heart._ I slapped myself for that cheesy thought. _That movie really got to me_. I stepped closer to him and left only a few inches between us.

"I love you, Amu." His words stole my breath away. I could feel that burning heat sing in my veins, but I bit my lip.

"Me too, Ikuto. Now you'd better get going home." I choked on every word I wanted to say, but I knew that he meant—

"No, _Amu, I love you_." Ikuto whispered, bringing his hand to my cheek. My body impulsively leaned into his touch before I could stop it.

"Your girlfriend?" I asked him. I brought my hand to his hand and interlaced them together.

"She only tried to help me get over you, but I couldn't stop thinking about you." His answer almost threw away all the world's worries from me, but it was _almost_.

"_Ikuto_." I could feel him shudder as his name left my mouth. His name felt so different than before yet so similar. "And if I were to say yes, what next?" The most loving smile sneaked onto his flawless face. "What would we tell Yoru?" The smile's flare burned out in that instant.

"We would tell him… Tell him that…" A look of helplessness flashed on his face, leaving only a hard scowl.

"Ikuto, you're not the type of person who would heartlessly steal his brother's girlfriend." _You're also not the type of person who would be able to stand the burden of having his brother's girlfriend's heart. _I left out that last thought.

"_Amu_," The way he said my name almost brought me to my knees, but I pulled his hand away from my cheek and abandoned it to his side.

"You don't have to worry, Ikuto. I only love you as an older brother. I love Yoru as a man. That's why I'll forget this ever happened." My gaze fell to my shoes somewhere throughout my "statement".

"You're lying." He stated it with utter confidence. I glanced up, and I was sure that it wasn't from mild desperation but from true confidence. I tilted my head and smiled a lifeless smile.

"Ikuto, do you really want the alternative reality to be the truth?" I asked, more to myself.

"I'm sorry." He walked a few paces past me before adding, "Thanks for forgetting." His thunderous footsteps fell in time with every shard of my broken heart.

**Thanks for reading.**


	6. Chapter 6

**I do not own anything, including **_**The Voice**_**. I've been forgetting to kill of Yoru, but every time when I tried to write it, it always killed me as well. How can I kill off one of my favorite characters?**

"Amu, you haven't been yourself for a while now. We've been on a lot of dates these past weeks, but you have been growing more and more distant. Sometimes, I feel like you're not even there." My purple haired, ever-so-faithful boyfriend opined.

I knew he was very concerned about me, but how could I tell him my heart's worries, especially since it was his brother? I had been trying to forget Ikuto and look at Yoru as my heart's only man, but forgetting Ikuto was like forgetting my heart and soul. Besides, Yoru reminded me too much of Ikuto.

"Sorry, Yoru. Where were we?" I threw on a smile and placed my hand on his to reassure him. We were seated in the café we always visited. I never grew tired of it; Suu always surprised me with something different. Today, it was a cinnamon apple latte in this chilly weather.

"I was asking you, if you'd like to leave your weekend open." He recovered easily and slipped on a plain smile. "I wanted to take you somewhere."

"Isn't that day your birthday? Hmmm, I wonder if I do have my calendar open for that day. Isn't there _The Voice _rerun running on TV?" I joked, hoping to lighten the mood. I succeeded. His signature Cheshire grin usurped that joke of a smile and reclaimed his throne.

"Well, we'll never know, now will we? You aren't just about to leave me hanging _on my birthday_," Yoru emphasized as if daring me.

"I don't know, Yoru. I mean it's _the Voice_." I sucked in a breath as if this was the hardest struggle in my life.

"_My birthday_." He emphasized once again. He and I just smiled there for a second, knowing that we were once again like the usual us.

"Ugh, Fine." I tried to sigh like a martyr, but a giggle escaped my lips.

"Thanks, Jesus, you're such a martyr." He sarcastically remarked.

"I like to consider myself more like a Joan of Arc." I ran along with his joke. He and I just stared at each other for a moment, before we both started cracking up. We were both dorks and laughed with each other; that's what made him the greatest friend ever.

"God, do I love you, Amu." Yoru said with the most loving smile. As my smile fell, his gaze did as well. I tried to smile back at him to reassure him, but he just shook his head and sighed. _Good going, Idiot! You just had it to._

"I'm sorry, Yoru. The idea's still getting to me, but I think it's coming along." I tightened my hold on his hand, but in response, he retracts his hand away.

"Thinking or hoping that it comes?" He looked at me with such a contagious broken look. As a friend, it pained me that he hurt.

"Yoru." I say his name, but words fail me. If I were to speak right now, the words wouldn't be in his favor nor mine.

"Let's meet tomorrow at two o'clock in the afternoon at the usual place." He left with that, as his back remained tense the whole way.

I hurt Yoru severely. If there was one thing I knew, it would be that I had to break up with Yoru. If I were to continue with this charade, it would only be hurting us both. I tried to forget Ikuto. Believe me I _tried_ and _tried_, yet I couldn't. If I were to leave Yoru now, at least he would have found a good girl who would treasure him and be deserving of his love. If-… There was so much if's, and not enough when's.

There was no doubt about it. I had to break up with Yoru tomorrow.

**Thanks for reading.**


	7. Chapter 7

**I do not own anything. I tried to write differently for Amu's and Ikuto's POV's. I figured that usually women are more sentimental than men, and Amu does seem more like that than Ikuto who seems more straight to the point. I hope you like it.**

"Loose, worn jeans… Drooping, gray pullover hoodie… Scratched-and-beat-up, black sneakers… Great~." I drew out the last word sarcastically. The image of me reflected in the bathroom mirror could have easily passed as a hobo or worse a serial killer, but what was I supposed to do? Dressing up would basically be flaunting, but dressing down would be insulting.

I didn't have another second to drown in my self-pity, before my mother appeared at my doorway. If that glint in her hazel eyes meant anything to me, it didn't mean anything fortuitous.

"Sweetie~," She dragged my nickname with such radiating malicious intent. "You're going on a date with Yoru, and you're disgracing yourself with that! Right when you've finally caught a man who can take care of you."

The loose caramel curls, falling from her bun, framed that frightening, bone-chilling smile. She wore the stylish new outfit from the latest magazine; nonetheless, the image of a mother could have been seen through the aging lines on her face, although the mother I remember cradling me was nowhere in her right now. The woman right now was the mother who pushed me to the Tsukiyomi brothers whenever the chance arose.

"It's cool, Mama. Papa's little sparrow is just measuring her wings and seeing what clothes suit her." My endearing father, always eschewing men from me, rested a hand on Mom's shoulder, trying to calm her.

A part of her missed that father, who always protected her and cried whenever he saw her growing up. Now, after the years of middle school, He had rubbed the sharp edges of his disdain for suitors and had learned that subtle persuasion was better, even when he always threw himself in the bathroom and sulked over her childhood photo albums in secret.

"Dear, stay outside." In her husband's presence, her sharp features softened only ever so slightly that I was the only one who noticed. Before closing the bathroom door, he threw me an apologetic look and waved. I gave him a shrug and a smile. My smile fell as Mama suddenly appeared in front of me with the clothes I had hid in the deep confines of my closet.

I knew what was next to come. All effort was futile. All I could do was be compliant with the tearing of clothes and squeezing into those *shivers* clothes; but if I did that, then I wouldn't be a Hinamori. I did what all Hinamori's would hope—hope that if I screamed and thrashed around enough, I wouldn't have to wear them.

**Dead Boyfriend's Brother**

The usual place, that Yoru and I had found as kindergarteners, was hidden under the shadow of a cliff; it was littered with sharp and dull rocks, continuously sharpened by the crashing waves. The shallow waters were clear and cool here and always replicated the color of the sky, whether it be sunset, dusk, or twilight.

I seated myself atop the tallest dull rock as my throne that held perfect view of the glaring sun. When the waters stilled after the wave's crash, the reflective surface would mirror me. The short, red dress puffed out at the end. I was pretty sure that these rocks had ripped the fine black leggings that my mother pulled me into. The experience of being forced into these clothes had been stress-inducing, but the cause of her pink curls surely left nightmares in their midst. I had abandoned the leather jacket and my red flats on another rock and dearly hoped, like any Hinamori, that it would get lost in the waves.

"Yoru, when are you getting here?" In a curled ball, I whispered to myself, glancing at the pink phone in one hand.

**Dead Brother's Girlfriend (Ikuto)**

"Are you sure it was smart to give Yoru your motorcycle?" My devious younger sister glared at me with her amethyst gems. She and I sat there in her favorite ramen restaurant.

"Is Japan's heartless ice queen pop singer caring for her itty-bitty brother?" I challenged her with the traditional smirk. Both finished with our food, we idly took residence in a family friend's restaurant.

"Ikuto, seriously," She rolled her eyes at me, tired of the older brother teasing. "You never let Yoru take the motorcycle. What makes now any different?" Sometimes, I wish my sister didn't have a discerning eye; but if that happened, where would she have found Kukai, that soccer geek.

"Nothing, Utau. I have to give him some room. He is growing." I stated, but she gave me _that _eye roll.

"It's Amu. God, I never know what it is about her. Besides, I always thought she would end up with you. You guys seemed like you were newly-weds." She groaned, grabbing another sip of her soda.

"Really?"

"Don't sound too surprised, Brother. It was so annoyingly obvious that I would have hanged myself if it weren't for Yoru's interventions. Yoru is the epitome of an intervening third-wheel." She sadistically laughed as if my misery was her joy.

"Well, no more suicide attempts from teenage pop sensation, then, I'm guessing?" A cheery voice rang through their ears. A familiar college girl with jade-green hair hopped into a seat next to me. There was always a surprise visit whenever Lulu was concerned.

"And why is that?" Utau flashed her one of her death glares mixed with her dagger glares.

"Amu rejected Ikuto's poor butt just last night, after waiting hours at her front porch." Lulu retorted back, shining her most people-pleaser smile. Ah, so this was the reason of the visit—making sure you had great relations with Utau. Girls were too devious for mankind's own good.

"What?! And you never thought of mentioning it." Lulu reverted Utau's anger to me… Yup, girls and their ulterior motives were too much. Why couldn't I always have Amu's clear mind?

"Why, I'm sorry, Utau. Next time when I experience heartbreak, I'll immediately inform the person who will pour acid and salt on my wounds." I sarcastically remarked, taking a swig of my water.

"See—"

RING! RING! RING!

On the table, my phone lit up with the said girl's name, piquing both girls' interest.

"Isn't Amu supposed to be on her date?" Lulu grinned impishly but gracefully.

"But she's calling you. I think we have a scandal on our hands." Utau smirked.

"Don't worry about it. I'm not answering it." I sighed. My hand reached for the phone, but Utau pressed the "answer" and "speaker" button. I would have slammed on "end call"; but her crying siren voice froze us all. The girl that could have persuaded me into murder quivered with fear and sorrow.

"I-Ikuto… Yoru's dead."

**Thanks for reading, and I'm sorry for killing you, Yoru! **


	8. Chapter 8

**I do not own anything.**

After several failed calls, I abandoned my rock throne and decided to scour the beach right next to our usual spot. Yoru must have been somewhere near, since he always was the early one. The drizzling rain drops fell on my sleeveless dress with such ferocity that I pulled my leather jacket on.

Perpetually turning to the dark road, I waited impatiently for my boyfriend—well, soon-to-be former boyfriend. I would never have paid heed to the piling traffic and a mass of people leaving their cars. Weekends like this, a great amount of people traveled on this road, but the rising smoke off in the distance alarmed me.

"_What if that was Yoru?" _The thought of my childhood friend's death plagued my disconcerted mind.

Before I even realized it, my bare feet had already closed the fifteen feet margin between the sandy shores and the dark road. This roaring in my ears wouldn't cease until I saw Yoru, and believe me I never wanted to see him in that mess. Through my expedition, I bumped a fair share of shoulders and stomped on quite a few feet; but nothing was stopping me from seeing it.

As I reached the core of the mess, the people were much more compliant to me, stepping out of the way. The way parents held their children away from the sight, the way some men pulled their hats off in respect to the dead, and the way some unguarded children gaped with traumatized expressions perturbed me and strengthened my resolve. Within a matter of seconds, I was there—smack dab in the front of the crying flames licking at the mash of vehicles. Obviously the crashed family van had been on the wrong side of the road, and the motorcycle wedged into the van's windshield.

"Yoru." The breath caught in my throat choked the cry out of me. There in the midst of death was my Yoru. The burning figure trapped in the metal clump remained still and strong, knowing his fate. Though parts of him were charred and burned, I knew that was still my Yoru. The only way out of that clump was a small hole that only a child could fit through.

Before I could take my first step to his rescue, a burly stranger held me back. I threw my body against his arm and struggled to get out of it, but to no avail, he didn't budge. All my thrashing and screaming benefited to nothing. I cried for Yoru and, as any Hinamori would, hope that a miracle would happen. The roaring building up in my ears deafened the crackling of the flames eating at him.

"Someone, p-please help him!" My burning throat screeched for help. My eyes scanned the crowd for any familiar faces or helpful people, but my cries only turned their shamed gazes away from me and the burning heap of metal killing my Yoru. I could read behind those faces the excuses they gave me. Those faces all said that it was a hopeless cause.

I reverted my gaze back to Yoru, hoping that he had found a way out; but he, still as a statue, looked at me. A deceitful smile, that told me white lies like "It was all right", spread on his face. I knew that it hurt him as much as it did me, but that smile grew to a travesty of his signature Cheshire grin. I could feel an empty hole replace my heart. No one believed that he would survive this, even him… and even me. I was supposed to give him hope. Out of everyone here, I should have given him hope, but that was a harder struggle than the man's arms caging around me. I was a shame to the Hinamori name.

I involuntarily subjected myself to watching his body cremate. I couldn't tear my eyes away from him. He kept on mouthing words of comfort, even when it obviously pained him. In response, I would croak back an apology; but as my throat failed me, my lips mimicked it. The woman, perhaps the wife of the man holding me, tried to console me; but I jerked away from her every time, until I was tired of it all.

These few minutes felt like a life time. Finally the fire department arrived, but I could see the life in his blind eyes flickering away. We both knew what was coming. I could see him mustering his strength for something.

"_Don't_." My chapped lips moved, but he gave me a pitying look.

"_I love you, but I know you love Ikuto." _He mouthed back. It was hard to read in the bright flare of light, but I could catch the first three words and the last three words.

"_I'm sorry."_ A whimper escaped my scratched throat; though, it didn't matter. No one could respond to my apology. Surprisingly, a bone-chilling, tragic scream, a raw product of my loss, rang through my body and tore through the confines of my tight throat; and with that, my body fell limp in the man's arms. Darkness embraced me.

**Thanks for reading. Please review if you have some input. Your input won't be unheard. **


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